Be confident and don’t try too hard

In today’s world, which is replete with social media highlights and constant comparisons, there’s a pervasive pressure to constantly be at our best, to put forth a version of ourselves that’s polished and impeccable. While striving for personal excellence is commendable, there’s a fine line between genuine self-improvement and the exhausting endeavor of trying too hard to impress others. The key to striking a balance lies in embracing authentic confidence. Let’s explore the art of being confidently genuine without overextending ourselves.

1. The Pitfalls of Trying Too Hard

When we try too hard, whether it’s in relationships, at work, or in social settings, we often come across as inauthentic. This can lead to:

  • Inconsistency: Maintaining a facade is taxing and can lead to inconsistent behavior.
  • Mental Exhaustion: Continually striving to impress can be mentally draining.
  • Missed Connections: Authentic relationships are built on genuine interactions. Trying too hard can hinder true connections.

2. Understanding Authentic Confidence

Authentic confidence is rooted in self-awareness and self-acceptance. It’s about knowing your worth, embracing your strengths, and acknowledging areas of growth without letting them undermine your self-esteem.

3. Self-Compassion Over Perfection

One reason people try too hard is the quest for perfection. However, perfection is not only unattainable but also a subjective and shifting goalpost. Instead, practice self-compassion. Recognize your efforts, celebrate small victories, and understand that mistakes are growth opportunities.

4. The Power of Vulnerability

Contrary to common misconceptions, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. Being open about your feelings, fears, and aspirations can be empowering. It allows for deeper connections and showcases a confidence rooted in authenticity.

5. Set Boundaries

Knowing when to say no is a hallmark of genuine confidence. You don’t need to be everywhere, do everything, or please everyone. Set boundaries that respect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.

6. Quality Over Quantity

Whether it’s friendships, projects, or social engagements, it’s essential to prioritize quality over quantity. It’s better to have a few genuine relationships than numerous superficial ones. It’s more fulfilling to deliver one project excellently than multiple in a mediocre fashion.

7. Continual Self-Reflection

Take time regularly to reflect upon your actions, decisions, and feelings. This introspection helps in aligning your actions with your values, ensuring you’re confident in your path and not merely trying to fit into someone else’s mold.

8. Celebrate Your Individuality

Everyone has a unique blend of experiences, skills, and perspectives. Embrace and celebrate this individuality. Authentic confidence springs from recognizing that you bring something special to the table.

9. Detach from External Validation

While compliments and affirmations are pleasant, it’s vital for your self-worth not to be entirely hinged on external validation. Celebrate your achievements for your personal growth, not just for the accolades they might bring.

10. Seek Genuine Feedback

Constructive criticism from trusted peers or mentors can be invaluable. It helps you grow, ensures you’re grounded, and strengthens your authentic confidence. Remember, genuine feedback is rooted in care, not judgment.

11. Embrace Growth and Learning

Confidence doesn’t mean assuming you know everything. It’s about having the courage to admit when you don’t know and the eagerness to learn and grow.

12. The Physical Aspect of Confidence

Our physical demeanor often mirrors our internal state. Regular physical activity, a posture that reflects openness and assurance, and attire that makes you feel good can all bolster genuine confidence.

13. Foster Deep Connections

Surrounding yourself with genuine, supportive, and positive individuals can fortify your authentic confidence. When you know you’re valued for who you truly are, you’re less likely to try too hard to fit into contrived molds.


In an era where superficiality often takes center stage, choosing the path of authentic confidence can seem counterintuitive. However, this is a journey of depth, fulfillment, and genuine connections. It’s about celebrating your intrinsic value, recognizing that you’re enough as you are, and understanding that genuine efforts made with sincerity always outweigh contrived attempts rooted in external validation.

By being confidently authentic, you not only offer the world a unique gift – yourself, in your unadulterated splendor – but you also attract experiences and relationships that resonate with your core. So, the next time you’re faced with the lure of trying just a bit too hard, take a deep breath, center yourself, and let your authentic confidence shine